The explanation is apparently all to do with relative amounts of heat and relative volumes, but the moment anyone says ‘relative’ I immediately get bogged down with thoughts of either Einstein or maiden aunts, both of which are too horrible to contemplate.

   In summer we want our wine cold, or at least cool. How is this to be achieved and then maintained? The fridge, the ice bucket or a Thermos flask are obvious solutions. But when going on a summer picnic they can be rather inconvenient to carry with you. Two solutions are available. A wetted newspaper, rolled up tight around the bottle, works just as well as a thermos; alternatively, keep the bottle in the cool mountain stream (if in the country) or in the sea (if on the beach).

   The importance of this subject came home to me when in a boat recently. In need of refreshment after a particularly harrowing time with various bits of rope which did not do what they were supposed to do, I grasped the bottle of Soave (Morrison’s and elsewhere - about £4.00) I had brought with me for just such an occasion.

   Ah, the light, cool, grapey (no other fruit tastes permitted - see last month’s column) smoothness would ease my aching body. Oh dear. It was warm. Soave is all you could ask for in terms of refreshment when properly chilled - but not, of course, icy. It is like the outpourings of the nether regions of a cat when warm. Strangely enough, I have seen the said outpourings used as a compliment by various winewriters but I have never understood why. So enjoy your Soave nicely chilled as the weather gets warmer and don’t forget the wetted newspaper.

   Meanwhile, full reds can still be enjoyed in the evenings before the weather gets too hot. Anglo- Hispano have come out with two recent crackers: towards the expensive end but crackers nonetheless. From Chile, Casa Lapostolle Cuvee Alexandre (£14.95) is a Merlot which is just reaching its best, although it might be kept for a year or two. Seriously good stuff and a correct slap in the face for those who (like me until now) thought that Chilean wine should be kept to the bottom shelf and then ignored. Closer to home is a Priorat - Sirsell at £14.75. Nectar - which is not a pretentious tasting term, merely a description of how good it is. Further, neither label makes extravagant claims…

   The language on some of the labels continues to provide a source of amusement. ‘Best served at room temperature with meats, cheeses and salads’. Does this mean the temperature of the room you happen to be in - which might be that of a maiden aunt who does not believe in heating or air conditioning? Is it not good with vegetables? Does it abhor soup? It is like the wonderful inscription that used to be found above the toilet in railway carriages in the days of British Rail: ‘Gentlemen lift the seat’. Is this social commentary? Is it an instruction? Is it a statement of fact and therefore of no relevance to the occupier?

   While on the subject of railways (this is relevant to wine, so bear with me), there used to be, on international continental trains, a little notice under each window. This stated: ‘Ne pas se pencher au dehors’ ‘It is dangerous to lean out of the window’, ‘Nicht hinauslehnen’ and ‘E pericoloso sporgersi’. It is interesting that the French and German gives an order, while the English and Italian merely offers advice. Now look at the labels on French, German and Italian wines (forget English ones). The Italians wax lyrical about how the wine can be enjoyed at all times and in all temperatures (except they are wrong about Soave); the French and Germans are much more prescriptive and virtually forbid you to drink the wine except with the foods recommended.

   Ignore the advice on the label. Drink what you like with what you like. Cheese is often better with white wine. A stout Stilton will be complemented by a Soave rather than somewhat overwhelmed by a rich red. Fish can be eaten with red. A delicate turbot will be improved by a cool Beaujolais which is also rather cheaper than the Chablis you are told you ought to have.

   If there is a rule at all (and there should not be - it is like saying ‘All generalisations are false’), it is that you drink what you enjoy at a price you can afford.

   But do have a go at the Chilean Merlot, the Priorat or both even if they are a bit over budget. You will not be disappointed (especially if you have a fillet steak to hand). You have saved money on the Soave so can afford to splash out a bit before it gets too hot.