Single & the wrong side of 40 For whatever reason life throws at you many people are finding themselves suddenly single in a world that is not necessarily user-friendly when you are over 40. Does Gibraltar make a difficult situation even worse? Whether as a result of the bereavement of a partner, a separation or divorce finding oneself suddenly thrust into a single world becomes a daunting task irrespective of whether or not you are a man or woman. The tasks that where second nature suddenly become complex. If not, look at those wandering souls in the aisles of Morrisons. They are the ones with the “Indian Meal for ONE” in their trolley. Shopping lists prepared meticulously by their partners are now replaced with aimless stares as they navigate aisles not knowing what to buy or where to find any of the stuff that was previously bought for them. “How much to buy?”, “Do I already have this?”, “How much does this cost?”. It didn’t matter a few months ago, they do matter now. Running a household is no easier. Cleaning, cooking, ironing, washing.. tasks once shared, now a chore that needs to be balanced with the realities of everyday living, or exisiting. And let’s not get into getting into the whole dating issue. How many other 40 something year olds are there to make finding a soul mate, let alone finding someone to have a dinner date without reminiscing about their past-life and associated baggage, an easy task? Does one spend Friday nights hanging around the local club (yes singular as until Ocean Village opens up, there does not seem to be an option from Salsa Fuego)? Do you really want to be seen as either a 40 plus year old man drooling over twenty-something year old girls or a 40 something year old woman looking for a toy boy? The dating scene itself has changed a lot since we dated in our youth. If you were local you probably met your partner when you were a teenager or in your early twenties. 20 years on, your potential partner will have had a lifetime of experiences behind them. Are you ready for their exs, their children, their friends? If you are lucky enough to find someone, even if it is just for a dinner date, where do you go? Do you dare be seen at one of the restaurants in Queensway Quay, Ocean Village or do you sneak into Thyme hoping no locals will be there. If they are then you will undoubtedly get the nudging of elbows, the covered faces as whispers and stares make you the talk of the night. Two hours later and SMS messages will have travelled as far and wide as you could imagine and you become the talk of the town, at least until the next dating couple is spotted. Do you need this pressure? It’s been hard enough trying to find clothes that don’t look as if you jumped out of an ’80’s disco without having to worry about the gossip. The answer does not necessarily lie in a trip to Spain as it is likely that every bar and restaurant within 50km has at least one local there to see your arrival and if you manage to avoid that then the Customs officers at the frontier will have a giggle as they see you making your way back with your date. So no luck in that one either! But where do you meet the right person when you are over 40? Somehow I can’t see speed dating, as seen in metropolises elsewhere, taking off in Gibraltar. People would just turn up for the gossip of who turned up! We’ve ruled out Salsa Fuego (or the other younger pubs in that area), you can’t sit on a beach in Gib by yourself hoping to spot some similar minded individual (you’d get trampled upon by the regular beach users) and using Facebook is a bit like being a stalker (BTW try running a search for 40+, single, in Gib, looking for dating or relationship... yeah, see what I mean!). So what’s left? I think it is back to Morrisons as a pick-up joint, stand next to the frozen food counter and wait for an attractive person of the opposite sex (that would be useful) to pick up a meal for one. So at least now that you have identified someone all you need to do is to orchestrate your arrival at the check-out desk at the same time and conjure up an excuse for a conversation! I’ve been lucky. I’ve found myself in this situation and found a partner to carry on my life with but how many are out there facing the prospect of re-engineering their lives at this point in their lives?

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